Another Night Without Sleep and Nothing to Show for It

Well, it was another long night last night. Bionca was working on her homework, and I stayed up to help her. Actually, I didn’t stay up too late since I did get 6 hours of sleep, but since I have been getting like 4 or 5 hours this week from helping her, I feel like I have only slept for 4 hours. The worst part was that soon after I crashed and fell asleep, Bionca gave up and went to sleep too. She didn’t even get up to go to school. She says that it won’t affect her grade, even though she has a test, and that she will be able to make it up. I still worry though. It is frustrating that I haven’t been able to sleep this week because I was helping her, and now she isn’t even going in. It begs the question, what did I lose all of that sleep for? Right now, I feel like crap. When I am tired like this, it feels like my skin is going to crawl off of me, but not before I am soaked in sweat and oil.

So, another long day in the office. I got in early today. (Its easy to do when I don’t have to wait on Bionca.) Its strange, if I leave the house after 6:30 a.m. it takes about an hour and 15 minutes, but if I leave before 6:30 a.m. it can take as little as 45 minutes. I like that a lot better. I wish that I could get Bionca to get going just a little faster in the morning. I don’t really want to nag her though, since I hate that myself.

I love her to death, but that is the one thing that bugs me that she does regularly. She just can’t ever seem to get going. It really stresses me out too, since when I make plans with my friends I like to stick to them, but when we leave the house an hour late it really makes me look bad. Jon and the rest of my friends think that I am unreliable because of it, and that is really frustrating. While I don’t worry about the opinions of me from people that I do not know, I very much care about being respected by my friends.

I do talk to her about this sort of thing every once in a while, but it is difficult since whenever I do mention something like that she get defensive and it turns into a fight, and I hate fighting with her. Still in the long run I know that it is important. It’s a slow process, but I am patient. Its not hard when you are in love. It’s worth it.